“Yes, by cutting off cable TV, and the beer supply, I can ensure an honest winter’s work out of those lowlifes.” – Mr. Burns

“Sir, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?” – Waylon Smithers

“Hm, perhaps. Tell you what, we come back and everyone’s slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.” – Mr. Burns

“Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kids’ parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot clown pole. Now come and get your catskins – err, I mean, sheepskins”. – Krusty the Clown

“At last, an excuse to wear makeup!” – Chief Wiggum

“Soon the arts and literature I love will be replaced by talk radio and vulgar mudflaps”. – Lisa

Classic Simpsons Clip

Sunshine on My Shoulders Makes me Happy

[try to think of sunshine on your shoulders as this week in the northeast ends coldly]

“You’d better run, egg!”  – Homer

“Marge! We’re all out of vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate ice cream!” – Homer

“You want a bad night’s sleep? Trying sleeping on one of these!” – Barney

“Oh, and don’t bother calling 911 anymore..here’s the real number.” – Carl

“Ooh.” – Homer

“Who are you?” – Security Guard #1

“Potato man.” – Homer

“Where the hell have you been?” – Security Guard #2

“You gotta improvise, Lisa.  Cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust …” – Homer

[Homer bites into the food, looks monotone]

“Let’s go see ma.” – Homer

Classic Simpsons Clip

If You Get Eaten, it’s Your Own Fault!

“Homer, I made a special surprise for you”. – Marge

“It can only be one thing”. – Homer

[a thought bubble forms next to Homer showing a cooked pig with an apple in it’s mouth]

“The best meat’s in the rump!” – Pig